Time
by Catri Howlman-Carthaki spy
Summary: Joren has been an abused slave for 4 years in the Marash Isles. Kel is grand empress of those very same Isles. Kel prepares to heal the wounds of time. rated for later chapters.
1. Chapter 1

_This is a short story about a meeting between Kel and Joren after Joren has been a slave to an abbusive master for 4 years. in this story, Joren was kidnapped a month before his ordeal was schedduled to take place. His master was arrested recently for taking part in the slave trade, and Joren fell under Kel's care. Kel is married to Napaz (for more info on him see Sewing Needle, which is still going (and i will post the 4th chap. soon.)) and is head empress. Enjoy._

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She looked him over.  
He was still good looking. The bruises didn't hide his natural beauty. His pale blonde hair was longer. His eyes were less cold. He stood with less dignity and more fear than anything else, quiet and servile after four years of beatings and abuse. He was too skinny. What had his old master done to him? How long would it take to undo the physical and emotional wrongs he had endured and suffered at the hands of a cold and heartless man?  
She beckoned to her healer. "Fix the bruises. Bring food and water. Do anything else needed to improve his health. In those matters you have my permission."  
"Yes your magnificence." the woman bowed and left.  
She turned her attention back to the slave. "Do you remember your name?"  
He looked slightly startled. He tried to think past 'Bitch' 'Dog' 'Filth' 'Waste' and countless other things he had been called. He couldn't. he had known those thing to long. "No milady."  
He didn't look at her when he spoke, fearing the slap his master had given him when he tried. She was patient. "Do you know the name 'Joren'?"  
The slightest hint of recognition flashed across his face, followed by confusion. "I think so milady."  
She would have to get him to speak louder. His words were unsure, as if he didn't know whether replying was the wise thing to do. She would have to fix that. It would take time.  
"Your name is Joren. When was the last time you ate Joren?"  
His voice got even softer. "Last week milady."  
She was surprised. He must have been used to starvation to still be standing.  
"When the food arrives you will eat." She touched his cheek. He flinched slightly at her touch, something that would have sent his old master into a rage. She made him look at her. "Joren look at me. I will not hit you, beat you, or harm you in anyway. You need not fear me or my husband or anyone here. No one will hurt you. You will not have to worry about Duke Callahan again. He is dead, or will be soon. You are in my house, and you are my servant. You will have your own room, a full supply of clothes, even someone to guard your door if you so wish it. You are safe here."  
Joren's eyes were uncertain, scared, resigned. He thought she was playing games with him as Callahan so often did.  
What happened to the proud young man training to be a knight in Tortall. What had happened to her ambitious enemy, her rival, her competitor? What had Callahan put him through to crush the life in him and replace it with fear?  
"The trial is over Kel. Callahan dies in a few hours."  
She nodded, watching Joren eat with concerned eyes. Napaz followed her gaze. "What Callahan did to him was wrong."  
Kel nodded. "I'm worried about him. every time I talk to him he expects to get hit. I can count his ribs! He's half dead and weak and scared. He was living in hell for four years!"  
Napaz nodded gravely. "These wounds will heal in time. The bandits who kidnapped him are long dead. Callahan dies in the morning. The underground slave trade is almost defeated. He has Noreem, the best healer in the islands, looking after him. He even has you to mother him to death. He'll live Kel. Just give him time."  
Time. That was what it would take. But Kel knew that even with time, Joren would be a broken young man. The wounds Callahan had given him were too deep. 


	2. Chapter 2

_Part two. I dont know whether or not this is a good idea. Neal isnt a resident of the Isles obviously. I really dont know why I have a part two. Maybe I'm insane. Maybe I want to bring Joren to a level of emotional stability. Maybe I want him to get his memories back. Maybe I'm just plain stupid. Either way, here it is. Enjoy.

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_

The delegation was arriving. As First Honour, she was required to greet it. As personal servant, he was required to follow. She wasnt happy about this. He was too delicate, too jumpy, to be present for any delegation. He could barely stand her husband! But it was too late to worry about that. She had to leave for the docks, and her servants would have to accompany her.  
For a moment, she wondered if he would recognize them. The thought quickly left. He still hadnt recognized his own name. Why would he recognize the names and faces of others?  
He was trying. He wanted to remeber so badly, to know what it was about him that made her look so pityingly at him. He wanted to know why Joren sounded so familiar, why her face sparked recognition, why her name reminded him of something that he had once known and recognized, and why the title 'Warrior Empress' didnt suprise him. But he couldnt remeber. He couldnt get past the beatings and being used as a toy for Callahan. He couldnt get past Callahan's tempers and 'fun' and sick humor. He couldnt get past pain and fear.  
It mad him more upset every day, as his comfort in Kel's purposeful 'ignorance' grew. She gave him so much time to himself that he couldnt help but think. In thinking, he couldnt help but contemplate and mutter and curse and bang his head against the wall so hard that Noreem had to run in every-so-often to make sure he was okay.  
Thinking drove him crazy, so he did his best to avoid it. To acheive this he wandered into the servants library. Usually, he was succsesful at hiding from the male librarian that worked there. Sometimes, the crabby man would discover him, and though Nastat did nothing mean, the young man quaked in fear and didnt move.  
Nastat would take some getting used to. As would Napaz.  
Napaz was frightening. Even with Kel telling him not to worry and trying to calm him down, he couldnt bear to be in the same room as him.  
Joren was a coward in that aspect, but for good reason. Callahan had caused a lot of damage by just standing in the same room.  
-  
Joren squeezed his eyes shut as the green eyed man approached him.The man raised his eyebrows."He does this all the time?"  
"Yes. He does that with everyone. He has to get used to you to at least look at the ground"  
Neal thought on that as he looked Joren over.  
Joren had gained a considerable amount of weight over the past month. He had had a hair cut. His wounds had been healed and he was properly dressed. He actualy looked healthy, and his eyes had a small spark of life in them (when they were open of course, and he didnt think anyone was looking.  
Neal took all this in with satisfaction. But there was something else there that he couldnt quite catch.  
"Does he speak?"  
"Only when directly spoken to. When you try to touch him, he flinches. He whisperes when he talks. He doesnt look at you either, he looks at the floor or your feet. Never higher. I managed to get him to look at the wall behind me once."  
"Mmm. How is he around people. Wait, dont answer that. How does he act towards men in general?"  
"Well, watching him around Napaz, you'd have to get Napaz to answer that."  
"Why?"  
"I can't describe it."  
"It's like he expects you to rape him or something."  
Neal frowned. "Elaborate please."  
Napaz shook his head. "I can't. You're lucky I said that much. Like Kel said, I can't describe it. It has to be seen to be understood."  
Neal raised his eyebrows again.  
Kel shook her head, knowing he was going to ask another question. "Later Neal. Now's not the time."


	3. Chapter 3

_I did it! I added part 4. Am I crazy? We'll see. One thing I do know: I need help. How should he recover his memmory? Under what surcumestances? Should he recover his memory at all? How should it end? Any help would be greatly appreciated._

_Thank you to those who reviewed. You were very nice. Any help you give would be greatly appreciated. (I'm so desparate I'm repeating myself.) Anyway, here it is. Enjoy.

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_

_MidSummer's Day_

So much has happened in this short time. He has grown to repond to his name. He has stopped flinching. He looked her in the eye once. He smiled when he was given the freedom to go to any library he wanted, he **smiled **(and you could tell it was something he hadn't done in a long while). She even heard him giggle as he was reading a story in a private corner of the grand ballrom.

One change had occured that wasn't gladly welcomed. _Nightmares_. He would wake screaming everyother night, reliving one or more of Callahan's many tortures.It tore her apart to hear him, and to know that she couldn't do anything for him.

She had started to treat him like one of her children, treating him like she treated her two-year-old twins. Kana didn't mind, and Quenu was too preoccupied with handling his sister to care.  
Joren was still mostly hidden inside his proctective barrier, and didn't notice at all. She worried about him constantly. His diet satisfied her, to a point. His weight satisfied her. His health was questionable, but then, she was a worry wart, and thought most everything wasn't good enough. But the amount of sleep he was getting bothered her.  
Jerat, chief healer for the emperial court, solved that in a way. A simple potion to keep away the dreams helped.

* * *

"I still don't know why you worry so much."  
Kel sighed. "I don't know either. I can't help it though. Did you see him when we had to dine with the Scaran delegation? He looked like a frightened deer. I thought he'd pass out."  
Napaz stroked her hair. "He ignored them after a while. He read that book straight through dinner. What was it called?"  
"_Corrupted._ He almost forgot to eat. They got scared when he didn't answer them. They thought they'd insulted him, and vice versa. I was forced to assure them that they didn't do anything offensive and that there was no harm intended. When he's scared, he hides. Behind a book, under the table, behind _me_..."  
"Yes, but at least he trusts you. He only tolerates me because he knows you'll beat me up if I hurt him. He doesn't fidget any more."  
She nodded. "True."

* * *

His eyes were bigger, rounder. He stared with those big eyes and nobody bothered to say anything to him. His big eyes were scared of anything new. His big eyes were jumpy and moved everywhere anxiously.  
She loved his big eyes. She gladly tucked him in at night and watched those big eyes close.She wondered at those big eyes. What had made them so wide and frightened? Why was he so scared?  
As much as she wanted to know, she didn't ask. She left him alone, to tell her at his own pace.  
He would tell her when he was ready to. She would wait patiently till then. 

_Any ideas?_

_Review please! Those things make me feel all warm and fuzzy. They're also a good way to help a sista out._


	4. Chapter 4

_Time_

There were things about his life he wished he didn't remember. The fact that he had been a pleasure slave, even if he could never see the pleasure in it. The beatings he got for simply breathing wrong. Callahan fucking him every time he was drunk or angry or both, or even bored. The feeling of the man forcing him to orgasm.

There were things he wished he could remember. Her tales of knight training and battles and parties and friends. The healer Unia, who would run to him when Callahan left. Uma, the healer who loved him like a son and was probably the only comfort he had till she was sold and replaced by a man.

She knew all of these things. In fact, she knew more. She knew where Unia was and was sending for her. She knew where Uma was and had sent for her. She wanted to make him happy, and she knew there would be many smiles if those two came back to him. Even now, as she watched him immerse himself in a book of legends as they waited in the Grand Hall for another delegation, she was planning.

Her husband touched her shoulder. "What is he reading?"

She smiled at Napaz, who was bored an uncomfortable. "A book of legends."

Napaz thought a moment. "Kel, are there any books on you in the library he loves?"

She nodded. "Yes. He hasn't read them yet. He's working from the back up. He say's that it's easier to find good books that way."

Napaz chuckled. "Joren would say that. Is there anyway to jog his memory?"

"Neal mentioned it yesterday when we met in my study. He's been brainstorming different methods for us to try. Hopefully, none are too painful."

Napaz nodded his understanding, eyes once again on the strange young man. Which reminded him. "The townsfolk in Orion are going to defile Callahan's grave today. It is an unspoken law that I and the rest of court attend."

"Do you think he's ready for that?"

Napaz sighed and turned to the doors, were the first members were being announced. "Let him decide. Know one can judge better."

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_This is still difficult to write. Please give me your comments, suggestions, complaints, questions, etc._

_Thank you._


	5. Chapter 5

_Time_

He remembered being called many things: slave, thing, it, filth, bitch, whore, toy.

He had hated many things: Callahan, his life, the gods.

He had hoped for many things: a name, love, acceptance, freedom, healing, and even death.

He'd received everything he'd hoped for, though he was still alive.

He had things he'd never dreamed of having: a home in the palace; a library filled with books he owned; freedom to choose what he did each day; no beatings; no Callahan; no fear of being injured past repair; friends in Her Magnificence and her children.

But some things were too fresh in his mind to let go of. Those plagued him at night, tore at his heart, rattled the peace he worked so hard to maintain.

She stayed with him through everything.

She coddled him like one of her own children, placed his room near the nursery so she would be close by, let him cry onto her shoulder when everything was too much.

With her help, he spent time in the Emperor's presence, and met all of his wives, and all of his children and their children.

The bruises had faded, the scars were barely noticeable, but he still had wounds to be healed, wounds that would re-open at the slightest touch.

For this reason, he could not bear to see Callahan's grave.

He still dreamt that Callahan would return and punish him.

She understood this, and that was more than he had expected from her.

"It's okay Joren. Just let me know when you are ready."

He nodded, relieved.

Napaz placed his chin on her head.

"We have to leave, Kel."

She nodded. "Joren, do you want to spend the night with the twins?"

Joren nodded.

Soon, he hoped, he would be able to put Callahan behind him.

Soon.

_This took me an impossibly long time to write. Any suggestions would be welcome_. _Kinda short, I know. _

_I'm thinking of upping the rating. Agree or dissagree?_


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